Dinner Out? I Think Not

The reason why? Incidents like this . I've been there a few times, sans the running around which I don't allow. It's not fun. The stares, the complaints, the nasty comments, you know the drill. Families handle this in different ways. There is no right way, but here's my take.

As for this article, I really cannot blame the waiter for his reaction. Running around in a restaurant is a big NO-NO in my book. It puts everyone's safety at risk. If they can't sit, we leave. As for the other patrons, here is where I am mixed. There are many insensitive people out there. Many quite frankly are concerned with their own comfort and enjoyment only. To a point I don't see this as a bad thing. Other people do have the right to a quiet, relaxing, and enjoyable meal out. But a restaurant is a public place and that can't always be expected or provided. A family should also be able to go out for dinner without having to deal with people that don't understand and the wrath of strangers because their kids are not as quiet, or don't behave quite like others. Derogatory remarks about anyone's disability are unacceptable to me. Reality, if a restaurant gets complaints about the behavior of children they are going to side with the insensitive clods, not the parents or child. They are just looking at the good of the majority of their paying customers over the one.

Children need to go out in public to learn how to act, whether they have autism or not. It is something that is learned by doing. I'm sure almost every parent has put themselves on the line in public to teach their children these skills. Unfortunately some places autistic kids have a much harder time with due to sensory issues and limited social and communication skills. Some families persist in hopes that it gets easier for their child while still allowing other family members a chance to enjoy the outing. That is fine as long as the parents are brave and flexible and have a plan for behavior issues. With that, there are some places it is not worth the stress to me to take my children. Restaurants and air travel top that list. My sons cannot sit. Busy, noisy places bother them. Eric may be OK in a restaurant when it is not busy, it is well lit, we have a seat by the window where he can watch cars go by, and if he happens to be in a good mood. Otherwise they just can't handle it and I have accepted that. Yes, I understand that this limits us. It really stinks to not be able to do some of the things many families do without much thought. It' a necessary sacrifice until we can slowly build our way to these things.

It is really a shame there are not more establishments that are suitable for our children if you want to have a party or a meal away from home. This is why it is also important for their therapy to include community outings and interactions without a bunch of red tape! (sorry, had to get that one in). For now I am hoping in time there are less limits in our life, but ready if that don't happen.