This is another good read for anyone that will be spending time this holiday season with someone with autism. It's written in the point of view of an autistic person. Many of our kids have a hard time with the change in schedules and routines. There is so much activity, lights, sounds and people. This can be hard for any young child. There are times our kids will want to be alone. Sometimes they will stim and people ask questions. If the child won't sit down and eat with everyone, or they don't seem to get Santa, or unwrapping gifts it could be taken the wrong way. With a little communication with the parents, and as much patience and understanding as possible the holidays can still be a wonderful experience for everyone.
Decorations
At this point, I only have a tree. It may stay at that too. I may get some stockings to hang high where they can't reach. The reason for this...
This is what my tree looks like at this time. I'm hoping to try to put this back together on Christmas eve night before I put out the presents so it looks nice for Christmas morning at least. It won't last long, I know that. Here's why!
As you can see, he's quite proud of himself for doing this. Eric thinks the ornaments are balls. During one of his tantrums he knocked the whole tree over. Nobody was hurt, but that wasn't fun.
Parties
Tonight my wonderful friend that I used to go to church with invited me to her house for a Christmas party and meal. It was a short notice invitation, and I was actually going to pack up all 3 boys this evening and go over there. Jon woke up from his nap sick, so we couldn't go. Maybe that was God's way of telling me I was nuts to even THINK about trying this. I honestly didn't expect to stay there long. I'm always prepared to pick up and leave very quickly if they just can't handle this type of thing. Maybe I would have been able to eat with the kids. Ronda knows me and my children very well, and would do whatever reasonable to accommodate to them. The people there most likely would know our family too. But when the behavior becomes not so desirable, it gets noticed. When we used to go to their dad's family gatherings it was never a great experience. I was always pinned down by a child who was having a hard time so I could never talk to anyone, eat, or enjoy anything. The relatives would get offended if my kids did not act like or play with the other kids, would not eat the food offered, and would not rip open their presents and jump up for joy or show appreciation. Of course there were always the "I don't do a good enough job disciplining them", "You hold them too much", "You don't talk to them enough or they would be talking", ect. Their dad never wanted to leave when the kids had more than enough and I was having a miserable time. This was so not worth the stress and the upset. I've found that having realistic expectations, preparing the children as best as possible, letting the host and guests know what is going on, and having an escape and being willing to leave at a moments notice is the best way of going about something like this. We will be going to my mom's house on Christmas Day. It's not going to be a lot of people and they don't go nuts with the decorations, so that will help. I have answers prepared for the questions I figure I'll get. We should be good to go. It is important to have family and friends in life, especially around the holidays. Everyone should be able to enjoy themselves in their own ways.
The message is quite clear here. This was at the end of the school Christmas event today. Sadly, this was 15 min before he could go :-(
Gifts
Last year the boys had no clue about unwrapping gifts. Seeing the all the presents under the Christmas tree didn't peak any interest in Eric or Andy. Jon did like the paper, but was still a bit confused but he was only a year old. It was hard to see this, surely not how I pictured Christmas morning. They loved the toys though! For the last couple of weeks I've been debating whether or not to wrap their gifts. I love wrapping presents and making things pretty. It's theraputic for me. On the other hand, I'm thinking it would be easier and more enjoyable for them to just have the toys under the tree ready for them to grab. Right now I'm thinking of doing some of both. As to how they would react to wrapped gifts, I got a preview at Andy's school Christmas party today.
It took forever to get him near this and anywhere near interested. He couldn't of cared less.
The SLP telling him "open", he didn't know that. All the other kids ripped these open.
At least he let me take a pic of this by him, but it took many presentations.
He loved what was inside though!
I'm now ready if they are not interested and don't get it. Yes, I will be sad, but we can still make this enjoyable. It's still going to be a big photo shoot. We are going to have fun.
Happy Holidays to All our friends and loved ones!
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